I stood on the deck of the fishing boat as it headed out across the open water. The morning sun warmed my back as the cold ocean wind chilled my face. In that moment it is the most I have felt in so long yet I find little appreciation in the feeling. A young man feeling so old, preparing to complete his journey without giving it much of a chance.

The muffled sound of the boat’s engine slows and I know this is the stop to begin fishing. Others gather at the rear of the boat and determine where they will cast their first line. I instead stand alone toward the front and focus on the water below, imagining what lies beneath the surface. Gazing down through the waves as they lap the side of the boat I picture the great depths below. The bottom of the ocean completely beyond my view but I know it is there. Cold, dark, yet filled with so much life. Not at all unlike my own world. Yet I find myself contemplating a choice between the two; remain above, or become lost forever below.

I stand here today able to recall the events of that day because of the direction I chose. It would not be the only time nor will it be the last time I face that contemplative thought concerning my destiny. I can’t say for certain that I won’t be standing on the deck of that boat again but for now I choose to remain above the ocean.