There has been no shortage in my life of those I’ve known who committed suicide. And then there are the ones I hear on the news or read about, the well-known people in society who make the news. I’ve always felt the pain and grief by anyone who has succumbed to taking their life and the wake of pain left behind.

This past weekend someone who was well known to many took her life in a very tragic manner. This one hit me hard. I knew little of this woman before but I knew of her. She was both talented as well as highly successful professionally. Practically nothing in her life resembles my own. Except for depression and the ability to hide it.

Not just any depression though. As later mentioned by a grieving family member this young woman struggled with “high functioning depression” and that term struck a chord with me. I kind of felt this from the beginning when I heard her story. I share this with her. This ability to  appear normal and maybe considered by others to have so much. Being the last person anyone would suspect of such a dark issue. It is almost like having 2 different personalities.

When all of this came together for me I felt like I was standing on that ledge with her. The visualization was too real. I’ve been there. What she was going through in those last hours or minutes is familiar. And yet I can’t begin to describe what goes through the mind in those moments or what drives someone to the edge. It’s terrifying yet there is a feeling that soon the light will go out.

I feel absolutely crushed that nobody could save her. It is why I keep working to overcome. To not be another misunderstood casualty.