Questions of Why?
I just don’t know Why.  There’s this question that just the thought of asking it seems more difficult than answering it. I find it even difficult to type, and certainly couldn’t bring myself to ask out loud in session today. Why do I not want to exist? And why do I want to die. I’m troubled by the questions because the basis of that feeling of wanting to vanish has no apparent cause most days. Why do I want everything to cease when everything else seems to be going well? Perhaps part of the issue is that I don’t think anyone is ready to hear some of what dwells inside. Then again I don’t even think I’m wanting to hear it.

I’m just jotting this down right now but I really do wonder about myself sometimes.