This is a rather LOOONG thought so I’ve divided it into 2 parts. This rambling of thoughts is really meant for me to capture some things that I’ll use at a later date. It’s hardly worth the lengthy read.

I get these AH-HA moments often but this particular one today really triggered a deeper level of thought. I have been listening to this audiobook by Robert Wright named Why Buddhism is True. First let me say that this book is not just another book on Buddhist philosophy but rather it is very heavy on the side of science and research. This book is filled with fascinating pieces covering the author’s correlations between psychology, Darwinian concepts of natural selection, and Buddhist teachings. Boring to some but every chapter has peaked my interest with new thoughts and reinforcement of many of my own beliefs. Late into the book his discussion on Nirvana really hit one of many AH-HA moments for me.

He begins the chapter drawing comparisons to the 90’s grunge band Nirvana. This captured my interest since I was deeply impacted by Kurt Cobain’s death at that time but I can share more about that later. Wright continues to talk about how the band Nirvana was originally named Bliss and he speaks about the distinct differences there are between the terms Nirvana and Bliss. Notably this speaks to how Kurt Cobain might have been seeking nirvana in his own life but he instead chased bliss behind his drug addiction, ultimately leading to his suicide. Definitely not how anyone should seek bliss.

The connections the author makes here was part of my AH-HA moment. Not only the irony of a band’s naming but the life cut short by a troubled and confused mind chasing what he thought could provide him bliss. I’ve always held these thoughts around Cobain’s life but discounted them as my own pop culture interest. Yet here was a highly educated and well versed author making similar comparisons. Robert Wright struck both that AH-HA moment and a chord of validation with me on beliefs around a person’s life simultaneous to the meaning of Nirvana.

Part 2 – Those Demons
This led me to pause and consider a different set of thoughts I had about many people who were incredibly talented but left life too early. Aside from Kurt Cobain there was Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington (Linkin Park), Dolores O’Riordan (The Cranberries), Amy Winehouse, Robin Williams, the list goes on. Many of whom were always thought to harbor “demons” they could not deal with. But is Demons really a correct assumption? Yes all of these amazing people struggled and some even had addictions thought to mask some sort of inner turmoil. But maybe in their ability to channel their art they also tapped into deeper thoughts and struggled with making sense of it all. Feelings that most of us have buried much deeper but we just haven’t unearthed them in the same ways that artists have.

I don’t have the answer because I am not any of those people but on some levels I can relate. Their thoughts and feelings were very personal and unique to them. But I would argue that “demons” don’t actually exist. That is simply a label society has tagged to something that explains away what someone might have struggled with. The term places reason or blame on something that cannot be understood – because lets face it none of us can truly get into the mind of another. I would also go as far as saying that perhaps “demons” places an assumption of evil on their feelings. Who is to say some were not chasing bliss, filling vast voids, or searching for something they couldn’t quite grasp, even if that led them to make consequential decisions. Not every person with struggles or those having so-called demons end up meeting their demise because of it.

Which leads me to believe that some people might just have different ways of harnessing what they have uncovered. Or tragically, have given up on what they cannot reason their way out of. Some simplistic definitions state that achieving nirvana is believed to make earthly feelings like suffering and desire disappear. If thought of in such terms then one could wrongly assume that death also has the same outcome.

But it’s nowhere near that simple and death is just the end and not something to be sought after. The only thing achieved in death is a period at the end of a sentence. Maybe certain suffering ends with death but so too does the light of life as it becomes extinguished. Death is certainly an all or nothing proposition.

This series of thought is still incomplete but I found it all significant enough to write down tonight. I’m sure I will revisit this again later as I explore the meanings behind nirvana and my own existence. BRB