Today I did something stupid. This morning I took some time to prepare for my therapy session today. I jotted down some notes about some topics including the previous post I wrote here (below) a couple weeks ago. I arrived at my session a few minutes early, took a few deep breaths before walking inside. Time began to pass and then the door opened and she walked out to the waiting room. I instantly could tell by her face that I wasn’t suppose to be there right then. I instantly thought, shit did I miss my appointment and I should have been there yesterday (Wednesday) and not today? She then tells me “your appointment is for tomorrow” and I quickly realize that today is Wednesday not Thursday.

Shit! I am feeling stupid and humiliated for forgetting what day it is. “Shit” and “sorry” was all I could say. She asked if I was okay and she had a look of genuine concern, to which I said “yes I’m fine”. My typical response Ugh. I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. To answer “No I’m the exact opposite of Okay” was not the right answer either considering I had just walked in when she was probably with another patient. Fact was that I was anything but okay in that moment. I probably wasn’t okay this morning to begin with either. Maybe deep down I forgot the day because I wasn’t feeling okay? Now I’m just overanalyzing this. Driving away I couldn’t help but relive the moment over and over. I pulled over and just started crying. WTF. A couple more deep breaths and I pulled it together. I look up and see a small group of frisbee golf people just staring at me after I just lose my shit sitting in my truck. UGH how many times do I need to embarrass myself today! Back to work I go to write all this down.