I’m going to be super honest about how I’m doing tonight, more so than I normally let on. Today is not good for me and I’m not handling things well at all. I’m absolutely struggling to keep it together. I would like nothing more than the lights to go out in my head and just be done. My concentration is so jacked up that I got stuck on the last sentence for 10 minutes. Physically I feel like shit. My head is pounding and my skin feels sticky like I have a fever (I don’t). The ringing is as loud as a hospital flatline sound. I worked down the list of coping tools and just have zero interest in making anything work. For a couple of hours I’ve been acting like I’m working in my office but nothing has been accomplished. I’m not going to do anything stupid but holy hell I hurt so bad right now.

This is not what this blog is supposed to be about but I just need to capture it.