For just over a week I have been in The Void, though it is not as extreme as some of my other episodes. This has been Void Lite hahaha. The annoying part is that this episode has stuck around for a long time. It feels like when a void episodes begins, but this time it is just stalled and has not escalated like usual. This has gone on for 8 days.

Here is the problem with the Void. When I am in this state of mind I lack the motivation or desire to talk about it. While in the void I will almost always answer “I’m fine” if asked how I am doing, I will avoid talking about how I feel, and I will even waste the opportunity to discuss it in depth while in session as I did today. This just frustrates me more when I miss the chance to talk about how I really feel. It is such an automatic reaction to retreat from talking about this right while I am in the thick of those feelings – or lack thereof.

I’m feeling a little disappointed in myself because I have come so far and put in some hard work but then I dismiss these chances to talk about it. Today’s session was good in that I walked away with some target accomplishments to shoot for this week, but I also avoided going into today’s feelings in any depth.

I need to go meditate and get out of this funk because I feel like shit right now and I’m just making myself feel worse. I wrote the above so I can revisit this going into next week’s session.