Tonight was an odd night. That old familiar feeling of nothingness came to visit after not feeling it for many days. I’ve been extremely busy so I just have not left any space for anything to come into my world lately. I was working late in my home office when it washed over me. Suddenly I feel so alone and everything slowed down. I want so badly to talk to someone yet I want to be left alone. I know that makes zero sense but that is the feeling that comes to me. I really hate everything about this feeling. It makes me feel needy yet wanting to isolate. My night went from productive and moving right along to just wanting to close my eyes and wishing I’d disappear from this world. What is odd is that I also had this moment of sadness that made me want to cry about feeling this way. That’s not how this normally goes for me and I don’t quite know what to make of it. I’m retreating into some meditation before bed so that it doesn’t turn into an all night insomnia-fest.